"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom."

Spent a couple hours reading the paper in the Maple Leaf Tavern on Gerard St. last weekend, and I’m pleased to say that I highly recommend the joint. In addition to $3.50 Bud Lite, can you get any better than watching Patton on a Saturday afternoon with a crew of shitfaced septuagenarians? Had a good laugh as the boys debated the whereabouts of the missing stars on Old Glory during the famous speech scene (lost to hi-def aspect ratio).


Additional info: No menu, but the bartender was chowing down on a cob of corn while he served my beers.

The Old Drunks Head for Hamilton South!

Enamoured as we are with urban decrepitude and concerned for the ongoing well-being of the American service industry in our post-industrial knowledge based economy the Old Drunks have settled upon Pittsburgh, PA as our sports trip destination for the fall of 2009.

Steel City USA shares a lot of history with its craptastic northern brother on Lake Ontario but has recently displayed a truly American plucky self-reliance, pulling itself up by the bootstraps, particularly in the assembly of winning sports franchises. We’re pretty excited to see the Pens and Steelers on home turf before heading the local bars for shots and beers. Based on some preliminary research, it would appear there are two major neighbourhoods to explore;

The Polish Hill/Strip District, an old school blue collar neighbourhood abutting a newly revitalized warehouse district:
Gooski’s, 3117 Brereton St. - a Polish local, perogi house and concert venue
31st Street Pub, 3101 Penn Ave. - a sweet looking Biker bar
Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave. - a somewhat pretentious looking indie venue that offers vegetarian suppers to starving artists... on second thought, perhaps we should skip this place

And Southside/East Carson, which apparently boasts North America’s highest concentration of bars per square mile:
Jack Rose Bar, 1121 E. Carson St. - voted best "shot and beer bar" and best place to avoid hipsters in Pittsburgh's local alt-weekly
Brewski’s, 801 E Carson St. - famous for their foosball tables. At least they're famous for something
Smiling Moose, 1306 E. Carson St. - features a nice looking Coors sign in the window


View Pittsburgh Trip in a larger map

French Chicks and Facades

Good times in Montreal. Checked out a couple of new joints, most notably Le Belmont Sur Le Boulevard which was pretty sweet and has a nice open façade to scope the ladies on the main.

Some other pleasant discoveries;

1. L’ile Noire offers $5 pints of local microbrews for happy hour
2. Much like the Bronx bar in Detroit, The legendary Verres Stérilisés Tavern isn’t anywhere near as shitty as I’d imagined. It looks a bit foreboding from the street, but inside it’s actually reasonably clean and friendly. Cheap quarts of Coors, Bud and 50.
3. A (unjustifiably) deserted neighbourhood place called Bar Oliveira on Rachel that features$3 bottles and a pretty decent juke box.
4. I’ve never actually been to The Dominion (though I’ve endorsed it below). Turns out I was confusing it with McLeans Pub, which rules and features all of the sweet sweetness of being in business (in one form or another) for about a hundred years.

Horizons de élargissement et se diriger à la gouttière

Se diriger à l'événement principal pour notre exposition mensuelle de merde de karaoke ce soir; un prélude convenable à une La debauched Belle Province de dans de long-week-end. Dans l'esprit de l'aventure j'ai choisi uns nouveaux à moi des trous de merde de Montréal pour explorer intermédiaire des plats de poutine;

Le Petite Idee Fixe, 4857 Av Du Parc
Miami, 3831 St-Laurent St.
Brasserie Laurier, 266 avenue Laurier Est
Bar des Pins, 3714 Parc Avenue
Mad Hatter Saloon, 1220 Crescent
Cock and Bull, 1944 Sainte-Catherine St. W
Le Salon Officiel, 351 Roy E.

une carte

The Dominion Pub: Man Den in Montreal

Getting geared up for next month's Montreal trip and remembered this gem from our last visit. Just around the corner from Rue Sainte-Catherine, The Dominion is the perfect escape while your lady shops at Simon's. Don't let the grandeur of the soaring ceilings fool you, this relic of the 1970’s is unequivocally a man den. I can’t remember much about the beer list (thought they probably still serve OV), but the décor and matronly waitresses have obviously been around for decades and combine to evoke the comforts of better times. It’s a magical room; after a couple pints you almost expect to glance up and see the Expos on TV.

If You’re Into That Kind of Thing: NOFX Fixated DJs

I met up with the Girlnasium crew at the Wheat Sheaf last night for wings, pints and saccharine ruminations upon our scandal plagued years at York U. After settling the tab we achieved quorum, determined more beers were in order and headed for 751 on Queen, a decent spot with $3.50 bottles of PBR. I hadn’t been to this joint in a while, but it seems their position on hilarious DJs remains firmly in effect as our pinball tourney was played out to an obsessively curated set of NOFX’s greatest hits. It’s been a while since I heard The Moron Brothers, but it was actually remarkably fitting for the occasion.

Double Smokes in Chocolate City

A couple of friends are headed to DC for a wedding this weekend and asked if I could suggest a place to watch the Stanley Cup final. It would appear that the capital has its fair share of sports bars, but despite being the birthplace of the Champions franchise, they all seem to be more than a little douché. Based on some preliminary research and a quick perusal of Stop Smiling magazine’s DC issue I’m suggesting dinner at Ben’s Chili Bowl, a local landmark famously patronized by Bill Cosby, who held a press conference there to launch his eponymous TV show. It’s a Chocolate City institution, much like Nathan’s on Coney Island and Uno’s in Chicago.

After dinner it’ll be game time at either The Tune Inn or Hank Dietles’ Tavern. The Tune Inn was featured in Esquire’s Best Bars of America and looks fantastic. Get a load of this sweet interior shot:

Beers are cheap and if folks are still hungry after their half-smokes everything on the menu comes with a side of bacon.

On the other hand, these guys may be more inclined to a roadhouse tip. If so, Hank Dietles’ seems like the place to be.Washington’s City Paper says “There’s not a microbrew in sight, the giant beer bottle above the bar lights up when the phone rings, and the “wine list” simply reads WINE $3.00.” The price is rite with $1.50 Miller Lite and free chips and crock pot dip sound like a tasty snack if things go to overtime.