A couple of things that sucked about Pittsburgh;
One of the first locals we ran into was a seven foot tall, 350 pound giant proudly displaying his neo-Nazi affiliation while smoking the foulest cigar I’ve ever smelled in one of the tiniest bars I’ve ever visited.
The batshit crazy drunken grandma from Ohio who sat down beside us at the Steelers game, downed, no lie, 4 large beers in the first quarter and kept up the pace throughout the game, all the while farting in Mofo D’s face, prattling on about banging her husband (who sat three rows back, with an empty seat beside him) in the washroom and encouraging her five-year-old grandson to tell Browns fans they had “some shit on their shirt” before spilling a beer down the Gayman’s back.
Some things that are great about Pittsburgh;Official Steelers merchandise is available in Real Tree patterns
$2 talls of Miller High Life in camo cans at the Jack Rose Bar, which opens at 7 am 365 days a year.
99 cent Yuenglings at the Onyx Inn aka the black bar, aka the bar from The Wire
$5 pitchers of PRB and Misfits tunes on the juke box at Dee’s
A pair of championship franchises that actually seem to respect their fans; a pretty stark contrast to Toronto’s Leafs, Raptors, Jays and Argos that do their damndest to alienate their supporters by sucking harder than Sasha Grey and charging more for an upper deck ticket than a three way with Ashley Dupre and Heidi Fleiss
And a final word of advice;
Expect to do a lot of walking through freeway tunnels, over suspension bridges and up highway embankments because there are NO FUCKING CABS IN THIS CITY!
